Melting Ice
by Raychel
Summary: When Olivia is kidnapped by Lewis and tortured, she warns him of her "old Partner" Based on the Season 15 Premiere of EVENTUALLY ROMANCE but right now .. Olivia can only think of contacting ELLIOT What happens when she does?
1. Chapter 1

AN: So I know that I have other stories to tend to but I have to write this, since it was brought up in the Season Premiere of SVU last night. When Olivia talks about what Eliot would have done if he was there. Let's entertain that shall we?

The air was thick and the pain resinated in the air as if frozen in place. Detective Olivia Benson was struggling to keep herself conscious but she was determined to keep it together until help came. Until the dig in her stomach, to make this monster pay for what her he had done was quelled. The idea of calling someone had fleeted through her mind but that would have been too easy. Her assailant deserved far worse then the back of a squad car in handcuffs. Olivia finally took a look at the man cuffed to the bed, the same bed that she had been bound to less then an hour ago. Her stomach threatened to betray her but she was able to keep herself from heaving. Olivia refused to lose it, it was not the time to be weak, she would process it once the scum was tortured the same way she had been. Unsatisfied that Lewis was not moving, she kicked him. Nothing, again her foot went into his back as hard as it could. Still no movement. Olivia winced and decided to give herself a break from the fight.

"You know what I want to do?" Olivia grasped the gun she had gotten from the dresser. Her gun that had been used to threaten her life but was not back in the hands of its rightful owner, "I want to put a bullet in your head… watch you bleed out," Olivia let a shrill laugh out of her mouth before throwing the gun up so she was not pointing at Lewis. Trying to put herself back in her logical mind, the next words that came out made her feel more powerful.

"…You know…My old partner wouldn't be like this, he would know what to do," Flashes of Elliot Stabler crashed through Olivia's mind and she felt a type of urgency overcome her, "He wouldn't let you live after what you've done to me. He would kick your teeth in, break each bone one by one until you begged for mercy," Olivia spat through gritted teeth, "Perhaps I should call him… let him take that metal bar and make you beg for-" But Olivia was interrupted by Lewis waking up. He growled at her, causing her to stumble back. The gun was pointed at his head again and Olivia felt herself clutch onto control.

"So fucking call him," Lewis spat at her, "Call the bastard since you are too scared to do it yourself. Gee, I wonder why he left, why his is your _old_ partner," Olivia slammed hr foot into his back, only to hear Lewis laugh with pleasure, "Let me guess, he did you didn't he? Yeah… I can see it in your face. You still want him," Lewis earned another kick in the back and he just laughed again.

"You don't get to talk about him," Olivia swallowed, "You don't get to, utter a word about him," Olivia thought about the phone in the other room and she knew Elliot's number by heart. Just because they had not spoken in years, it did't mean he could not make this exception. Elliot had left due to unfortunate circumstances and he kept himself distant from his old job. Olivia did not blame him but he would answer her this time, he would know that she needed him.

"Then call him! So I can tie you up and make him watch as I-" Olivia slammed him in the face with her gun and reached into Lewis's pants to get his burn phone, "Hah, you calling your squad? Gonna have them save you? I knew you didn't have it in you, you're too much of a nice girl," Olivia said nothing as she dialed Elliot's cell phone, willing him to answer. Hand shaking and heart pounding, Olivia felt her anxiety sky rocket. What if Elliot didn't answer? What if-

"Hello?" Elliot answered almost immediately and he sounded like he had just run a marathon. Olivia's mind went blank but as she took in his voice, something awakened inside her, "Liv? Liv… where are you? What did that bastard do? LIV talk to me!" The fact that Elliot knew it was her, brought back such emotion that she almost cried, "Olivia, if you don't speak to let me know that you are OK, I am going to-"

"I have not called the squad," Olivia spoke, Elliot let out an exhale of relief, "Not yet…"

"Jesus Liv, I thought…." Oliiva could hear Elliot getting into a car wherever he was, "Where are you?! "How badly did the mother fucker hurt you? I swear to God that I am going to make him wish he was six feet under. Did you kill him yet?" Elliot paused, "No… you haven't have you? That's why called me isn't it?" Olivia said nothing as she heard the satisfaction in Elliot's voice, "Don't worry, I will make that fucker pay and you can watch. Now where the hell are you and do you want me to call-"

"No, don't call them." Olivia croaked out, "You need to come now so we can deal with this piece of shit before anyone else does," Olivia had to tell herself that they were still partner's, she had to fool herself. If she did not, she was sure to lose it all,

"Olivia," Elliot got serious, "How badly-"

"You'll see," Olivia cut him off, the pain in her voice from the bruises and lack of food and water was evident. As Elliot began to go off on how he was going to nail Lewis to the floor, Olivia looked for a piece of mail so she could tell Elliot where she was, "Come to this address," Olivia gave it to him and then shut off the phone. She could not bring herself to speak to him anymore. Instead she turned her attention to Lewis, feeling the hatred boil up inside of her.

"So you actually called him," Lewis looked amused, "Does he have a death wish?" Olivia snorted out a small laugh at the idea of Lewis over taking Elliot Stabler.

"Nope," Olivia threw the phone into Lewis, causing him to cry out in pain, "You do though." Olivia felt the power kick in, "You see… you fucked with the wrong person. You fucked with me, a woman who can send you away for good." Olivia paused, "Not to mention that I have an old partner that you have to deal with now. Oh and in case you are wondering, he left due to his anger problem or breaking suspects bones. Also he killed someone." Olivia never thought that using Elliot's history would help her intimidate someone but it was working now.

"Oh… what, is he going to kill me?" Lewis said in mock fear, "Oh well, it was a good run. At least I killed enough people and violated enough women to go down with a reputation." His words made Olivia sick to her stomach and once again she willed herself to not get sick.

"No… killing you would be too easy, It would be too generous," Olivia felt a certain sense of comfort come over her, "Not only is he going to torture you…. But he is going to make you wish that you were dead. Just when you are pleading for him to kill you, he won't. No, you will not be killed but you will feel everything that you have done to all of us," Olivia then kicked his skull in hard enough to knock him but not enough to do too much damage. Looking around the room, Olivia tried to find something she could wipe off the sweat and blood.

A shower would have been heaven but Olivia did not want to leave him, there was a part of her that was afraid that he would miraculously wake up and get free. Survival instinct took over and Olivia paced back and forth, keeping an eye on him.

"LIV?" Elliot's voice was like a warm blanket in an ice storm. Olivia almost buckled when he showed up in the doorway. When he saw her, his eyes turned red. Hurrying to her, he set a hand on her cheek, checking her. After moments his face turned entirely red and Olivia moved out of the way so Elliot could rein hell on Lewis. Olivia would not try to stop him this time, not like she had when they were partners. No, this time she would savor it and possibly help. Olivia smiled smugly as bet she could.

"The old partner?" Lewis groaned out with a smile, "Gee, how sweet," But Lewis was silenced as Elliot took his fingers and gouged Lewis in the eyes. His scream of pain revived Olivia Benson and she put her gun to Lewis. Elliot was on top of him, foot in Lewis's groin.

"Lucky for you, I brought something special," Elliot pulled out a chain to dangle in front of Lewis's bloody eyes, "It's a dog collar that I found rusting on the side of the road," Elliot showed it to Olivia before throwing it around Lewis's neck, "You want to hurt people? You want to feel superior by hurting innocent women and other people?" Elliot scoffed as Lewis struggled against the restraint, His squirming caused a feeling of satisfaction, and he gurgled, trying to breathe, "Well you fucked with the wrong woman this time. You see, Olivia was my partner for longer then you have been a piece of wasteful shit. In fact, no one dared to fuck with Benson and Stabler… well you fuck with her, you basically fuck with me and that is NOT a place you want to be pal," Elliot released Lewis, who gagged and coughed for air.

"Y-you left her," Lewis threw in Elliot's face, "Hah, you left her so what does that say about how amazing you two are together," Lewis forced out a laugh, "I know why you left…" Elliot tightened his grip on Lewis's jaw but he forced himself to keep talking, "You left her because you wanted to fuck the shit out of her and you couldn't," Lewis gasped as Elliot punch him in the face, "I bet I have been to more places with her then you-" The veigns in Elliot's neck began to pop.

"I'm sick of hearing him talk…" Olivia thrust the gun towards Elliot and he took no time in putting it in Lewis's mouth, "He held that gun to me when he did not want me to scream…" This seemed to motivate Elliot to knock out Lewis's front teeth. He screamed in agony and Olivia felt a sense of pride. "How does it feel you piece of shit?" Olivia threw her foot into his side, "Does that feel good in your mouth?"

"This is pointless," Lewis spat out the loose teeth, "You don't know how to torture-" But Lewis was cut off as Elliot took his hand and snapped the bone in Lewis's leg. Olivia was frenzied with desire for revenge but she was too weak.

"I don't know how to do what?" Elliot then slammed the other leg, "Oh… this is just the beginning,"

"You want to tell him or should I?" Olivia hissed to Lewis, "Tell him how you forced me to choke down Vodka"-Slam-"How you burnt me every time I disobeyed-"-SLAM-"How you were about to take off my clothes and-" This time the slam that Elliot did, knocked Lewis unconscious and he looked frail. Once her assailant was out cold, Olivia shrunk down to the floor. Her body convulsed with shock and Elliot was in front of her almost immediately. Nothing was said at first, Olivia shut her eyes finally. She knew that she was safe now, that the one person in her entire world who kept her together was there. Elliot Stabler would die first before letting anything happen to her.

"Fin told me," Elliot began, "He left me a voicemail just as I saw the News," Elliot reached out to gently brush her hair of her eyes, "I have been searching for you," Elliot swallowed hard as the warmth of his touch made her shivering subside, "God Liv…"

"He didn't rape me," Olivia got out, the relief on Elliot's face was immense and he looked at her awkwardly. As if trying to figure out of he should hug her or if she was too delicate. The tears began to flow, salty tears mixed with blood, she threw herself into Elliot as best she could. His arms were around her immediately, cocooning her. "I was so… scared that I was going to die," She sobbed, "I was so scared that I was going to leave this life without…. Without…" Olivia could not get the words out.

"You and me both," Elliot held her closer and she just reveled in his presence. Elliot had been searching for her along with everyone else, he still cared about her. He had not disappeared for, forever. He was there, holding her in a vice grip that not even the Jaws Of Life would be able to get her out of.

"NYPD!" Nick Amaro's voice called out as people stormed into the house, "LIV?!" His voice was terrified. Relief washed over Olivia she heard her present partner. They had found her, was it truly over?

"LIV!" Amanda Rollin's called out, her own voice fearful. Olivia could not say anything as they all headed into the room where Lewis was unconscious and Elliot Stabler was cradling Olivia in his arms.

"Hands up!" Nick threw his aim on Elliot but Olivia shook her head.

"No!" She croaked out, "He came to help me, this is Elliot…" Olivia watched the blood rush out of Nick's face. Fin Tutola barged in, with his gun at the ready. When he saw Elliot, the pistol dropped to his side.

"Elliot," Fin sucked in a breath, "You found her." The awkward moment passed quickly as Lewis was kicked by Amanda and then Nick got his turn.

"Did he-"

"No," Olivia answered Nick, who was now kneeling beside her and Elliot, "He didn't get the chance to," Nick nodded in relief and set a hand on her shoulder, his head falling down so his eyes were on the floor. The relief in him was just as intense as Elliot's had been.

"Thank you," Nick said to Elliot, "Thank you," His voice cracked and Olivia had to will herself to not cry.

"You don't have to thank me," Elliot told Nick, still holding onto Olivia, "I was not about to live with the fact that I did not do anything,"

"Elliot?!" This time it was The Captain who sounded surprised, "Holy shit, what are you doing here?!"

"Nice greeting," Amanda said to Cragen.

"Like he wouldn't do anything about this Cap," Fin scoffed.

"Oh. Right," The captain was dazed, "Well, I'm happy to see you here, good to see you." The captain then went over to Lewis and gave him a kick in the shin, "Take this piece of garbage away. I would say kill him but we cannot do that right now," The Captain sneered.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't," Olivia muttered and Nick cracked a smile. Amanda and Fin shackled Lewis before cutting him from the bar only to slam on a pair cuffs that cut his circulation off.

"HAHAHAHA!" Lewis's laugh caused Olivia to wince, she buried herself into Elliot as if her were her blanket in the dark amongst the monster under the bed, "You can't prove a damn thing! I won't go to prison, how many times have I gotten off?" Lewis was shut up by Nick slapping a strip of Duct Tape over his mouth.

"How do you like it?" Nick crooned.

"Come on Liv," Elliot coaxed her, helping her up. Olivia let him help, her head resting against his shoulder as they made their way outside. An ambulance was waiting and Olivia gripped onto Elliot more tightly.

"No," She squeaked, "No," The idea of being strapped down in an ambulance caused her heart to constrict and she resisted Elliot, who stopped immediately when he realized what was going on, "No, I can't… too small… no… I'd rather die, no," Olivia felt herself spiraling.

"You can do this," Elliot's firm voice brought her back up, "I'll ride with you," Elliot promised her and she shook her head, "Liv, I am not going to leave your side, I swear on my life," Olivia shut her eyes, letting herself believe him.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Fin came over to Elliot, "Liv… thank God you are OK,"

"Killing him would have been too easy," Olivia muttered, "So I called…"

"I know," Fin smiled, "You called Elliot," Fin squeezed Elliot's shoulder and touched Olivia's, "So good to see you're OK," A hint of a tear reflected in Fin's eye, "I thought…. Well we all thought that we might lose you,"

"Never," Olivia smiled, despite the pain in her lips. As Fin told her this, she realized that she had thought the same thing. Being strong was not in her vocabulary at the moment. In fact, Olivia had never felt so torn down. So violated and so low, she felt dirty all over.

"LIV?! Brian's voice made her heart jump and she felt torn, "OH my God, Liv," Her boyfriend was out of his car and practically pulled her out of Elliot's arms and into his. Olivia could not help but feel disappointed, his arms were not as comforting as Elliot's but she did not have the energy to mention it. Brian held her close and she let herself feel his love for her.

"Careful," She told him and his grip loosened, "It's OK…. I'm OK."

"You don't look OK. Where the fuck is he?" Brian searched around for Lewis, he did not even seem to notice or care that Elliot was there. He had the idea to kill Lewis, even though Elliot had already beaten everyone to it.

"They have him in custody," Elliot spoke up and it was then that Brian Cassidy registered that Elliot Stabler was there, "Hi Cassidy,"

"Stabler? Damn… how…. When….?" It then occurred to Olivia that she had called Elliot instead of him. The drama that could ensue this interaction made her head hurt.

"I found her," Elliot omitted that fact that Olivia called him, "I heard what happened on the News and I just… let my instincts guide me," Elliot shrugged, knowing that Olivia was grateful to him.

"Thank you," Brian said to Elliot, who pursed his lips. It did not seem to sit well with him as people kept thanking him. AS if he had saved Olivia for everyone else, as if he had not wanted to do it for any other reason.

"I won't repeat this again so listen carefully," Elliot's territorial voice turned on, "The only reason I helped Liv out is because she was my partner for twelve years, my best friend and I would never let anything happen to her. I know that she and I have not been in contact but sometimes the past doesn't matter when it comes to these situations," Elliot inhaled before speaking again, "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that Liv made it through this. As for support…" Elliot swallowed, "Well as for support, I am not going anywhere."

There was a tense silence that came from Brian and he cleared his throat, "Of course not," He said a bit too quickly, "It's good to see you." It was a lie, Brian was not happy to see Elliot Stabler, he was threatened and Olivia could feel herself getting woozy.

"Liv," Amanda appeared, "The captain wants you in the ambulance, ASAP." The southern belle took note of the hostile tension between Elliot and Brian and rolled her eyes, "Men…" She muttered under her breath.

"I'll ride with you," Brian told Olivia and she opened her mouth to tell him that Elliot was riding with her but it then occurred to her that this was not to best response.

"Actually, I'm going to ride with Liv," Elliot spoke up. "For witness purposes, you know I can tell them what I saw and… just for support too," Elliot had worded it well and Olivia hoped that Brian accepted it. There was a harsh pause before Brian literally handed Olivia off to Elliot, he was gentle about it. Reluctant even but he did not seem interested in causing more stress in Olivia. She was sure she would hear about it later though, once she was strong enough.

"I got you," Elliot walked her to the ambulance, letting her take her time, "I got you,"

AN: OK so this not how the episode went… lol. Obviously but when Olivia began talking about Elliot in the Premiere I was like, "Aw… now that was just an invitation for Fanfiction.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I am glad you all are enjoying the story! Thanks for the reviews!

Oh yeah…. I own nothing yada yada yada….

The hospital room was cold and sterile, there was nothing warming or comfortable about it. Olivia shivered underneath the blankets the nurse had brought her, eventually the heat from them wore off and she was reminded of what discomfort felt like. Elliot was sitting in the chair next to her bed, looking at a magazine. Olivia smiled slightly at his attempt to not badger her about what had happened. Elliot was chewing on the inside of his lip, which meant he was holding back.

"El?" Olivia did not recognize her own voice. It had been days since she had been allowed to speak or relax for that matter. Elliot's head shot up immediately and he scooted the chair close to her.

"What is it Liv? Do you need something? I can get a nurse, Are you in pain? Dammit I told them to give you the strong stuff, even though I know you don't like it but since I am still your next of kin and I told them to give you Pain Killers," Elliot looked around for the call button but Olivia stopped him, placing her hand on his. The contact was her own personal muscle relaxer.

"I'm OK, I just… well…" Olivia all of the sudden felt lost in what she was going to say. In fact she felt whatever words that had been about to come out dissipate.

"Take your time," Elliot was gentle and she hated her heart for betraying her. While tied up and not able to do a thing but wonder how she was going to survive or die. How she wanted to so badly to see her old partner, tell him everything. As Lewis asked her who she wanted to say good-bye to, she was violated as he picked up that her mind was somewhere else. All Olivia could think about was how Elliot would have never let this happen, he would have forced her to stay at the precinct or he would have staked out her apartment for her. Elliot would have fought to get Lewis behind bars and would have known that something was wrong by instinct. For a little while Olivia convinced herself that she was just delirious but when it came down to who she wanted to be with her, it was Elliot. Although she was relieved and thankful for him coming to her aid, mixed emotions of how he just disappeared on her several years ago were rising to the surface.

"You left me," It was out of her mouth before she could stop it. Her train of thought had turned into a verbal communication and she watched Elliot as he went from staying tough to going vulnerably soft, "I'm sorry," Olivia retracted her statement to him but Elliot just shook his head.

"It's OK, Liv," Elliot reassured her, "I do want to talk about this but right now I don't think that either one of us is in that condition do you?" Olivia found it interesting that he was placing himself in the same category as she. Elliot had not been the one kidnapped and violated and beaten but he might as well have been. Anything that happened to Elliot, happened to Olivia and the same went for him, "Unless you need to talk… about it," Elliot became apprehensive, it was not a familiar look on him and she just shook her head.

"No, you're right. I am in no state to be having any serious conversations," There was a knock on Olivia's door. In less then an instant, her heart rate when up and she sat erect, despite her injuries.

"Liv?" It was Nick, Olivia's heart calmed down and she rubbed her chest. The IV in her arm causing a sting in her hand, "Oh wow, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry," Nick had a paper bag with him so Olivia averted the conversation.

"What's that?" Olivia looked at the bag. She wondered what it was; perhaps it was something they had found on the crime scene. Perhaps it was the necklace she had left in the trunk so they could find her. Perhaps-

"I snuck you in some ice cream, chocolate. I know it's not your favorite but they didn't have it. So this was the best I could do, I mean if you want I can go find a place that has it. I would more then happy to, anything you want Liv, Anything," Nick took a breath after his rant and Olivia caught Elliot turning his head away to smile in amusement.

"I love chocolate," Olivia smiled at Nick, it was true. She did love chocolate and the fact that Nick had brought her something that she liked was thoughtful. In secret she was happy that he had not gotten her favorite, for it would remind her of this day and she would no longer enjoy it. Just another thing that Lewis would take from her, no matter how little it was.

Nick smiled and happily handed her the bag, "Uh, Cassidy is here," Nick's face changed and Elliot turned to look at him, "He brought you some clothes and stuff from the apartment." Nick cracked his neck slightly, making his judgment clear. He had never liked Olivia's boyfriend, not because he was jealous or possessive, Nick just pressed that she could do better. Olivia was not getting any younger but this argument never held up with Nick.

"You don't like him," Elliot blurted out, it was a statement that sounded like he approved of Nick Amaro all of the sudden. Olivia's eyes hurt too much for her to roll them.

"Who Liv chooses to date is her business," Nick cleared his throat, "This is hardly the time to pick on him."

"Nick held a gun to his head," Olivia told Elliot as she opened her ice cream, "First time he came back," The ice cream was soothing on her throat and she savored it.

"Uh, we don't have to talk about that right now," Nick said, as if the stress might be too much for Olivia. The silence was not as long as she felt it was, it seemed that every moment that no one said anything, it felt like eternity. All Olivia had gone through was horror and there had been times when she was alone in her silence.

*Flashback*

_"MMMMM," Olivia tried to protest through the duct tape over her mouth, she could feel Lewis grip her tightly as he hoisted her into the trunk. Olivia managed to throw her feet against the open hood but Lewis was stronger then her at the moment. It was something he was using to his advantage and Olivia felt herself wish he would just knock her out for this._

_ "You're lucky that I have let you live this long, stop fighting it!" Just as Olivia's foot lost grip, she was shoved into the trunk. If Olivia had been able to scream out loud she would, if she had been able to cry, she would have. The tape over her mouth only gave her access to breathe through her nose and she had learned unpleasantly that it did not work. Olivia struggled with what little energy she had in her as if this might change his min, that the trunk would not be shut by her protests. _

_ Black._

_ Nothing but darkness around her and the smell of motor oil. Nothing but the movement of the car, nothing but the silence that became her only companion. _

END FLASHBACK

The ice cream was gone too fast and Nick took it from her with a smile on his face. It was the type of smile that a father would give a sick child, Olivia decided to not even mention it. Laying her head back against the pillow, she breathed in as deeply as she could. Her ribs were too damaged to feel comfort while breathing, so she had to settle for the tiny bit of air she inhaled.

"Do you want me to send Cassidy in?" Nick asked, as if Olivia would say no and he would gladly tell him to go away.

"Can't he just drop her things off with the nurse?" Elliot asked, attempting to sound civil but failing miserably.

"Tried it," Nick told Elliot before looking back at Olivia, "What do you say Liv?" Olivia should have wanted to see Brian, she should have been asking for him but since Elliot was by her side, she felt no reason for anyone else.

"I guess I should see him," Olivia sighed, feeling reluctant, "I mean… he is my… boyfriend." It was always awkward having to say that around Elliot, anything about any other man.

"You don't have to," Elliot told her gently, "Liv you have a choice."

"I don't want him to see me like this," Olivia threw out and the men in her hospital room nodded in reply, "Nor do I want him to coddle me,"

"Well Liv, it is no secret that you are stubborn to a T," Elliot added, "I say that as a compliment,"

"I'll give Cassidy the message," Nick began to turn around but Elliot stopped him.

"Hey, you wouldn't mind taking my place for a few minutes? Nature Calls," Elliot stood up, but stayed next to Olivia.

"Of course, if that's OK with you Liv,"

"Of course it is," Olivia felt safe with Nick, he was no Elliot but he had saved her life enough times to reassure her. Elliot looked at her and she nodded, confirming that it was OK. He left the hospital room, shutting the door softly. Nick rolled his sleeves up and took a seat next to his partner.

"Stupid question, but how are you?" Nick was finally getting his time with Olivia since the incident. They had not been alone until now and Olivia felt a sense of present comfort. Nick was her reminder that she was allowed to be strong, that he called her on her shit better then anyone else. They were partners and he treated her as an equal. A pang hit Olivia's stomach as she feared that this might change things.

"I'm Ok," Olivia said to the best of her knowledge, "Tired but I am too scared to sleep," Olivia admitted to Nick, "I'm afraid to dream and you are the only person I would admit this to right now. Brian would argue with me and Elliot… well… he would find a way to fight away my nightmares," Olivia's eyes stung with fresh tears that would soon mix with dried ones on her cheeks.

"Liv… I am so happy you are alive. I am also happy that Elliot found you and kicked the living shit out of that guy."

"How?" Olivia looked at Nick, the story was that Elliot did not do a thing to Lewis, he fought him off but that is it, "Oh," Olivia heaved a sigh, "He told you, didn't he."

"It doesn't take a genius to know what really happened," Nick told her, "Just a person who knows you well enough. Elliot… he's something else isn't he?"

"That is one way to put it," Olivia all of the sudden missed Elliot and she wanted him back. Like a child missing their blanket.

"Is he going to stay? Now that he is back in your life?"

"I don't know," Olivia sighed, "I…"

"We don't have to talk about this, unless you want to," Nick looked around and found the remote to the TV, "Wanna find something stupid to watch and pretend we are enjoying it?" His question made Olivia smile, so when he saw the reaction, he went ahead and turned the TV on. There was a man in a pool, trying to do tricks with his dog and failing, "Good selection already," Nick said before sitting back.

EEEEEE! Thanks to everyone who is reading this. Writing this story is actually therapeutic. I was a victim, similar to Benson's story for the same length of time. I was able to get as well but never dealt with it. So this is my outlet. Next chapter, we deal with Elliot and Cassidy!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you to everyone who was reviewed and is reading this story. I will be updating my other stories as well.

Elliot Stabler felt his shoulder's fall as he shut the hospital room door behind him. His hand lingered on the cold metal before forcing himself to slowly walk away. Giving Olivia her needed time with her new partner and also he needed to have a moment to not be strong. Elliot wanted to hit everything in sight, he wanted to scream into the wall and lose all of his composure. He wanted to take away the nightmare that Olivia had gone through and he wished that he would turn back time so it had never happened. Elliot was in the world of pay back until someone cleared their throat behind him. Already knowing who it was, Elliot prepared himself and turned.

"Cassidy," Elliot addressed the man who was Olivia's boyfriend. The idea made him sick, this guy was not good enough for Olivia and never would be. Elliot knew Olivia better then he knew himself and she did not love Brian Cassidy. She was trying to fool herself into thinking that she did, but Elliot knew better.

"How is she?" The concern in Brian's voice made Elliot cringe slightly.

"How do you think she is?" Elliot called him out on his question.

"Alright look, it doesn't take a professor to know that you don't like me but can't you pretend for Olivia's sake?" Elliot just stared at Brian, "You did your time here, you helped but I think it is time for you to just go back to the life you are living. I am sure you will get your name in the paper for this or some other type of honor."

"You think I did this for recognition?" Elliot replied in harsh whisper filled with repulsion, "I'm here because she needs me, because I want to be." Elliot demanded.

"So why did you stay away for so long?" Brian challenged him and Elliot had to use all his will power to not punch Brian's lights out.

"That is none of your business, what happens between Olivia and I, that is _our_ business. Not yours," Elliot chewed on the inside of his cheek, a habit he picked up on so he did not physically hurt someone.

"Anything that goes on with Liv _is_ my business," Brian came back at Elliot, "She's my girlfriend and I care about her,"

"Oh you _care_ about her?" Elliot scoffed, "If you _care_ so much then why are bugging me, instead of trying to talk to her?" Elliot stepped forward, into Brian's face, "You know what I think? I think you are not with Liv because you care about her, I think that you are with her because you can't find anyone else to have you," The next thing Elliot knew, Brian took a swing at him. Ducking and shielding himself, the possible fight was broken up by Fin and Amanda Rollins who were coming out of the elevator.

"Are you serious?!" Amanda pulled Brian away as Fin got Elliot, "Olivia is in the hospital right now and you two need to have a sword fight?! No, nope… Cassidy, calm down!"

"He started it," Brian actually said, causing the other three people in the hallway to just gawk at him.

"So I made you try to punch me?" Elliot straightened his jacket, proud that he did not beat Brian to a pulp. Well, if it had not been for Fin and Amanda, it might have been a different story.

"You can let go of me now," Brian said to Amanda and she hesitated before throwing him off of her arms.

"I don't give a shit _who _started it," Amanda went on, "And if someone tries to end it, I will personally kick both of Ya'll out of this hospital." Elliot had to smile despite himself, whoever this fiery blonde was, he liked her. Not just because she seemed to be on the wagon of anti-Cassidy but because she was tough.

"Maybe you should take a walk Cassidy," Fin spoke up, "If you have not seen Liv yet, there is a reason,"

"She's _my _girlfriend!" Brian threw up his hands.

"Well right now she is a victim so get over yourself," Amanda growled, "God, Liv was tortured for days and all you care about it that you have the _right_ to see her?"

"You've been hanging out with Amaro too long," Brian said to Amanda, just as she looked like she was going to jump on Brian, Fin was there in an instant, ready to hold her back. Elliot watched the dynamic of the new squad, he was impressed but there was a feeling he was not familiar with as he watched the scene play out. Was he feeling out of the loop? The idea made Elliot anxious.

"You know what?" Amanda said, with Fin making sure she stayed calm, "I am GLAD that Stabler showed up, "Eliot's ears perked up when he was brought into the conversation, "Yeah, I am glad he is back because maybe, just maybe Liv will come to her sense and dump-"

"What the fuck is going on out here?!" Nick appeared, shutting Olivia's hospital door, "We can hear you in there, the walls are not sound proof!" There was a silence that casted over the group as Nick looked from Brian to Elliot and then to Amanda, "Now luckily, Liv is finally asleep after all of the drugs they gave her but what if she had heard this?" Nick shook his head, "Cassidy, you gotta go. You don't have any legal standing to be here."

"WHAT?! But I'm her-"

"Soon to be ex, I hope," Elliot finally spoke up and he took notice of the amused glances on everyone's face but Cassidy's. As if he was the person that had been waiting for to put Brian Cassidy in his place. Elliot had an air about him that made any man who was interested in Olivia Benson, kneel back down to their rightful place below him. To get to Olivia Benson, they had to get through Elliot Stabler and he was a solid concrete wall.

"Fin, you wanna show him out?" Amanda did not look at Fin, she kept her eyes on Brian.

"Come on," Fin led Brian out by his arm and Elliot was left with Nick and Amanda.

"Nice," Nick hissed at Amanda, "You were the loudest," Amanda took immediate offense to this.

"He was being a jerk off Nick and if it wasn't for me and Fin, Cassidy would have started a fight, that I am sure Elliot would have won," Amanda was shaking with adrenaline and she shook off Nick's hand from her shoulder.

"Well that is three for anti-Cassidy," Elliot muttered actually timid to piss Amanda Rolins off.

"In my opinion? She settled for him," Amanda told Elliot, keeping her voice low, "I think that she just felt like she was done looking for someone."

"In my opinion, we should drop this and let Olivia get her rest." Nick looked at Amanda and then at Elliot. The brotherly vibe radiated off of him and Elliot found himself thankful that the man who took his place was a good one. Took his place… Elliot grew sour as the reasons why he left SVU came flooding back to him.

"So you want more time or-" Nick started.

"No, I got it. I don't want her to wake up alone," Elliot smiled at Nick, it was a pathetic attempt to look strong but he felt like he failed at that.

"Here," Amanda picked up a cup off coffee that she had set on an end table, "Have some coffee, figured you would need some,"

"Thank you," Elliot said sincerely to her, "Nick, are you going home or…"

"Uh, I really don't want to," Elliot sensed something familiar in Nick and he nodded.

"I get it, work getting in the way of family?" Nick's head shot up and Elliot just sighed, "Been there."

"At least let me take you to get some food, when was the last time you ate something other then a vending machine snack?" Amanda tugged on Nick's sleeve, "Elliot, do you want us to pick you up anything?"

"You're too kind, uh I think I'm good," Elliot's stomach grumbled slightly, betraying him.

"You like subs? Because I am getting you one, come on Nick," Amanda led Nick away and Elliot had to watch them go. A sense of nostalgia set in as he witnessed the interaction between the two young detectives. There was a time when he and Olivia were like that, not too jaded and still enjoyed getting meals together. Where there wasn't an attraction more then just a crush. No, Elliot Stabler had never felt the way he did about anyone else. Olivia was his heart and he had to get back to her.

The television was on, lighting up the room every now and then. Olivia was sleeping, looking peaceful. Elliot watched her, thanking God that she was alright and she was safe again. Elliot made a vow to never leave her side, that is until she asked him to.

"No!" Olivia's shrill cry escaped her and Elliot was by her side in a flash. He was there when she opened her eyes, it took her a few seconds to register that it was Elliot looking down at her. As if wondering if she was dreaming, Olivia turned her eyes to the ceiling and broke. As if the hospital room verified what had happened.

"Liv," Elliot set his hand on her shoulder, her body wracked with sobs and Elliot felt helpless, "Liv, it's OK, it's over… I'm here."

"I can't… shut my eyes without seeing anyone but him," Olivia cried, "I try… I try to go to the place where he can't hurt me but… he finds me,"

"If I could take away the nightmares, you know that I would."

"Can you hold my hand?" Olivia's voice was weak but Elliot took not time and wrapping his strong hand over hers, "Talk to me," Olivia's eyes fluttered closed but she jerked herself awake almost immediately.

"Shhh, just shut your eyes… it's ok. I'm here…" Elliot rubbed her hand as he saw her eyes close, "that's it… nothing but safety here. You are OK, you are not there in that place anymore." Elliot paused, "Imagine a warm forest, with a waterfall and the sun shining down. Imagine birds and nothing but love and warmth," Elliot's voice cracked but he kept going. As Olivia slept, he talked to her the entire time, about happy endings and fairytales. It was the first time he saw her truly at ease, which motivated him to keep going. It went on all night long until Elliot's own eyes lids got heavy, he was not sure how or when but sleep stole him and he was in a slumber, next to Olivia.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you to everyone who is reading this, you guys are awesome. I also want to give a shout out to everyone who has ever been a victim of any sort of assault, you are strong and you are a survivor

Peace- Raychel

"What do you mean; I can't go back to my apartment?" Olivia was forced out of her fog as she sat in the hospital lobby, waiting to be checked out. The captain, Donald Cragen, had just told her that she was not able to go home.

"It's a crime scene Liv," The Captain cleared his throat, looking firm but sad. Olivia tore her eyes away from his; she did not like getting _that_ look. The look she had given to so many victims she had met and helped. It was the look of sympathy mixed with sorrow. It was a look that she never thought would be pointed at her.

"Where am I going to go? Wait, let me get this straight," Olivia looked at the Captain again, " So… I get taken from my home… the one place that is my safe sanctuary, that gets defiled by this bastard who did this to me," Olivia made a gesture to her bruises, cuts and arm that was forced to be in a sling, "Just to be told that I am not allowed to go back to the place I have been thinking about this entire time?"

"Liv… it's a crime scene,"

"Yeah you said that already," Olivia felt a strange type of anger lift up in her, "You don't have to repeat yourself,"

"Liv, I know that you are angry-" The captain began, his voice sounding like he was talking to a child who could not go to sleep due to the monster's under the bed.

"Don't," Olivia cut him off, "Don't do the whole speech that I know all too well, the speech that I have given to so many others," Olivia's eyes narrowed at the captain, "I don't need your sympathy and I don't need the way you are looking at me right now," Olivia did not care how venomous she sounded at that moment or how rejected the Captain looked.

"Olivia-"The captain started but he was interrupted by Amanda, who had Olivia's bag.

"Woah… am I interrupting something?" She looked from the captain to Olivia. Her blond hair bouncing to the beat of her head.

"Yes you are and thank God," Olivia stood up, too fast. Her body had not caught up to her head; her mental state had forgotten how her psychical state was not in the same time zone. After a crash of dizziness, Olivia felt herself fall but she was caught, two arms she knew all too well, wrapped around her.

"Don," Elliot sounded like he was addressing the captain in a type of warning, "You wanna let Liv get her rest? What just happened?" Normally, Olivia would have argued with Elliot. She would have told him to forget about it, but there was no censor on her anymore. She felt tainted and dented after what had happened, she felt no reason to sugar coat anything anymore.

"Olivia's apartment is a crime scene… so I was just letting her know that-"

"You were just letting her know? You were just letting her know that she couldn't go back home? After being taken for how long?" Elliot's words were dead on and Olivia let him take over as he helped her back into her seat. Resting her head against the wall, Amanda joined her, handing her a cup of fresh hot coffee.

"It's not my fault, Elliot. It needs to be combed through so we can put Lewis away for good." The captain kept it short but Olivia could feel the heat coming off of Elliot as he stood to stand in front of her and Amanda. Like he was shielding them from a lightning storm that was about to hit.

"So where do you expect her to go?" Elliot cleared his throat in his passive aggressive way. There was nothing to clear from this throat; it was like a growl that might come from an animal. Instead of that, Elliot Stabler cleared his throat.

"We have a hotel that she can stay in,"

"A hotel?!" Elliot snorted, "A hotel? You want to send her to some recycled room that smells of old cigarettes and gets house kept every day? A place where there is no guarantee of privacy? A hotel," Elliot shook his head back and forth. Olivia could not help but smile slightly at how he said everything she had wanted to.

"Why don't you two take a walk?" Amanda spoke up, "I have to talk to Liv and you two can continue discussing Liv's well being," The two men looked down at her and she just stared back at them, "What? Ya'll sound like a teacher and a parent having a damn conference. Now take it over there," Olivia waited for the captain to reprimand Amanda but he did not. Instead he led Elliot to another hallway, looking upset, "My God, you would think they were discussing a stock or bond,"

"Thank you," Olivia held up the cup of coffee before taking a drink of the hot liquid.

"Any time," Amanda sighed, "So… that's Elliot huh?" The question had so many levels of answers that Olivia took an extra few sips of her coffee. If it had been cool enough, she would have chugged it.

"Yeah," Was all Olivia could say but she watched Amanda's facial expression, "What? What is that look?"

"Nothing… just… you never mentioned how unbelievably-"

"Don't say it," Olivia threw a hand over her eyes, feeling like she was in seventh grade again.

"-sexy and insanely hot that man is. Not to mention the pedestal he puts you on, damn. Like, does he have a brother?" Despite the current situation, Olivia blushed. The Elliot Stabler situation was not a subject she wanted to entertain at that moment but as Amanda sat there sizing Elliot up, Olivia felt like she was back in college. Talking about boys and things like that.

"I showed you a photo of him," Was all Olivia could say.

"Yeah and a photo does not do that man justice," Amanda gave Olivia a knowing smile, "I'm just teasing you Liv, if it was not for Elliot… you would have had to keep beating down that low life yourself,"

"True but I knew he would come if-" Olivia cut herself off when she realized what she was about to reveal. The coffee burnt her mouth as she gulped it down. Amanda took the coffee from her, saving Olivia's tongue from a week of pain.

"You… called him?" Amanda lowered her voice. Olivia did not say anything as she debated how to go about this, tell Amanda the truth or keep it a secret?

"Yes," Olivia admitted, "But you can't tell anyone,"

"Liv, who am I going to tell?" Amanda frowned after she asked that, "Ok well you get the point. I won't say anything,"

"Thank you," Olivia smiled at Amanda who was giving her a look of expectancy. "What?"

"You're not even going to elaborate?"

"Not yet!" Olivia was about to say more to Amanda but Elliot and Cragen showed back up.

"I'm sorry," The captain said to her, looking genuine, "I didn't mean to come off the way that I did,"

"Elliot throw you around the sandbox a few times Captain?" Amanda asked, biting her lip to not laugh. Olivia muffled her own snicker as Elliot flashed a toothy grin of pride.

"Count on you to make jokes at a time like this," The Captain said to Amanda.

"It's a time to heal," Amanda shrugged, "Laughter is the best medicine,"

"Even if I am the punch line?"

"Yup."

"If you two are done, I have an option for you Liv." Elliot knelt before her to get on eye level. For a moment, just a split moment he looked like a man ready to propose but the illusion was broken when he spoke again, "Um, I have a place in the city. It's a nice one bedroom and you are more then welcome to stay with me." Questions flung through Olivia's mind as Elliot told her this. Questions about why he was living in his own apartment and where was Kathy? What had happened to make him live in…

"OK," The answer was out of Olivia's mouth before she could stop it. That answer was about to change everything, not because anyone was making it a bigger deal then it was. But because the idea of Olivia being with Elliot again, even just as friends was a precursor. It was no secret that the two had a bond deeper then anything else on the planet, it was no secret at how the way Elliot looked at her, it was like he was devoting his entire life to something. There was a secret that only Olivia and Elliot were not in on even though they were the main characters.

"What about Brian?" Amanda spoke up, breaking the moment. Whatever music that might have been cued, was now the scratch of a record, "Oh… did I say something wrong?"

"Alright, so it's set. You'll stay with Elliot until you can come back to work," Amanda's record scratch was nothing compared to the Gong that the captain had just pulled.

"What do you mean until I come back to work?" Olivia saw red, "Are you telling me that I have to take time off?!"

"Considering what you've been through? Yes, yes you are under mandatory leave right now." As the Captain said this, Olivia felt whatever possible bubble she had been in, had now burst. The cloud she had found, the sun she had been basking in was now gone. Leaving her to slam back down into the darkness.

"So you want me to just… steam in all of this? Take the back road?"

"Liv, you are one of the best detective's I have. You know just as well as I do, that you could be triggered within a second. The post traumatic stress is going to be enough to handle without it having to be poked and prodded at." No one said anything, since the Captain had made a good point.

"So what am I supposed to do until this is all over?" Olivia asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Heal Olivia," The Captain told her, "Just heal."

….LATER…. because… I don't want to make this chapter so short…. And because…. Well you will see.

"How is she?" Nick breathed out the moment he saw Amanda in the café, "Where is she? What happened?"

"OK, for starters take a breath, there ya go, now sit down and I will tell you," Amanda watched as Nick Amaro took a seat in front of her, looking sick to his stomach with worry, "You look at the menu and I will talk,"

"Deal," Nick picked up the laminated menu and pretended to read it, "OH for the love of God, just tell me what happened at the Hospital today? I feel like shit that I could not be there, I was in with a lawyer… divorce and what not." Nick's words caused Amanda to do a double.

"Divorce? What's going on?"

"No, no we will talk about me later. First tell me how she is and why the hell I can't I get a hold of her?" Amanda just stared at Nick, "What? What's that look for?" He had his left hand grasping his hair, while he clutched the menu with his right. Without his jacket on, anyone could see that he had been pulling on his tie.

"You're just spazzing out," Was all Amanda could say and Nick laughed dryly.

"Well, I think I have a good reason to spaz out don't you? I mean my partner was taken and beaten and…" Nick's eyes shut and his entire face tensed. Amanda reached her hand over to his menu hand and he let her squeeze it. Squeezing back, Nick opened his eyes to look at her, "Is this my fault?"

"No," Amanda said with more solidity than a sidewalk, "You know that this is not your fault. That this isn't anyone's fault but that piece of shit who stole her. Nick, you can't beat yourself down for what happened… Liv is safe now, she is on the road to healing and we get the lovely job to make sure this ass hole never sees the light of day again." Amanda watched as her words set in and he nodded, letting go of her hand.

"You're right," He gave in, the waitress came and brought him a cup of coffee. As she poured, Nick collected himself and thanked her, "So… what happened?"

"Well she didn't take the news of not being able to go home very well but can you blame her? Luckily Elliot arrived around the same time I did and he well…. He kind of put the captain into place," Amanda watched Nick's reaction.

"Stabler put the captain… no one puts the captain into place. No one but Olivia that I've seen anyway."

"Yeah well Elliot Stabler seems to have that kind of pull," Amanda flushed as she thought of Elliot and how amazingly delicious he had looked, defending Olivia how he had.

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me," Nick's scoff made Amanda pull her head out of her cloud.

"What? What happened?"

"You," Nick laughed with an edge, "You've got a crush on him," The accusation made Amanda gasp.

"Nick Amaro! I do not have a crush on him, I am just admiring how-"

"No, stop. Don't even go there, it's alright that you like him, if I was a woman-"

"Now you stop, I don't know what you are about to say but might I remind you why you are really here? Your partner? How she is?" This brought Nick back and he nodded soberly.

"You're right,"

"In a nutshell? Olivia is going to be staying with Elliot," Amanda decided to cut out her talk with Olivia bout Elliot. Nick choked on his coffee but recovered with grace, "Yes, you heard right. Elliot offered to put Olivia up instead of her having to go to a hotel."

"The Captain wanted to send her to a hotel?" Nick was aghast.

"Oh trust me, Elliot let the captain have a mouthful but in the end, Olivia accepted the invitation so now she is with Elliot, at the store. He told her he was going to take her shopping or something. Since she needs clothes and whatever," Amanda shrugged. She was happy that her co-worker had such amazing support, that Olivia was getting the royal treatment and did not even see it. In fact, Elliot seemed as oblivious as Olivia when it came to their chemistry. For two intelligent people, Elliot and Olivia seemed to get daft when it came to their relationship.

"Wow," Nick sat back, "Well… what about Cassidy?"

"HAH! Don't make me laugh so hard I have to use the ladies room," Amanda's eyes lifted to Nick's, "Maybe Olivia will finally leave him; it's not that he's horrible. He's…. you know… normal, bland… mediocre."

"And Liv can do ten times better? Yeah… I know," Nick finished off his coffee and the waitress flitted over to refill his cup.

"I mean it's not like he is a loser, he's just… well,"

"Not good enough for her?" Nick added in.

"Yeah," Amanda nodded.

"So, what do you think of Stabler?" Nick asked, causing a blush to go through Amanda's cheeks and he sighed, "No, not like that, I mean what do you think of Elliot for Olivia?" It was the question that had been on so many others's minds before Nick and Amanda had come along to the precinct. If they only knew about the bets and pools that were still collecting dust under John Munch's desk, they would be forced to add money in.

"Oh I think he's perfect for her," Amanda told him sincerely, "But I don't think Elliot is going to try anything right now, not after what Olivia's been through,"

"You don't?" Nick was doubtful.

"Nick, they were partners for how many years? Over a decade and he never once took advantage of her? That we know of anyway, I mean I don't see Elliot getting more intimate then professional you know?"

"You're forgetting something," Nick reminded her.

"What?"

"They're no longer partners anymore… so there is no longer that line," Nick's words rang true, "And I'm not worried for Olivia,"

"You're not?"

"No," Nick chuckled, "I'm more concerned for Elliot… I mean… what's going to happen when Liv realizes what she's got? We all know that Olivia Benson is relentless. And as for the emotional state she is in, it is more up to her old partner to handle things."

"Ok, explain. It's been a long day for me," Amanda narrowed her eyes at Nick.

"To put it simply?" Nick paused, "Imagine a magnetic attracting something but has to keep it at bay. Elliot is the magnet and Olivia is going to go for him. So… what is he going to do when she makes that first move?"

'How many hours have you spent thinking about this?" Amanda asked.

"A few but, come on… you know it's true. Once this blows over and it will, then what?"

"Then what? You want to know what I think will happen after that?"

"Yeah,"

"Maybe we can stop thinking of other's love lives and focus on our own. We need to keep our head in the game, Olivia was kidnapped. She was tortured by Lewis and we need to use whatever fire we have for anything, against this monster," Amanda brought Nick back into the reality and he sighed in agreement.

"I just want Liv to be OK." Nick admitted.

"I know, so do I. And she is in good hands," Amanda reassured him.

"I know," Nick sighed, "He cares about her, she's in a safe spot,"

"Yeah," They held a glance with each other for a few moments before turning back to the table. Nick finally paid attention to his menu and Amanda took a drink of her cool coffee. Who knew that one man returning to Olivia's life would change so many things?

AN: OK, so I need to let you guys know this so there is no confusion. Amanda and Elliot are not going to be shipped. I just like that Amanda takes notice of Elliot Stabler and appreciates his… yumminess. And even more, I had fun with Nick's reaction. I thought we could use a chapter that transitioned into the light. Yeah, Olivia Benson went through some darkness but this story is about coming out of the darkness to bask in the light.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Thanks for the great review's everyone, they mean a lot to me. Really enjoying writing this story! Thanks for reading.

"I can't," Olivia felt her heart bang inside her chest as Elliot pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store, "El, I can't… I thought I could do this but I can't," As the bright lights hurt her eyes, she was reminded of when Lewis had held her in a parking lot. There was too much resemblance and Olivia was forced to shut her eyes, she counted to five, then to ten. Her breath returned when she felt Elliot's hand on her own, it was a tender touch by a rough hand. Olivia's eyes stayed closed as her heart slowed to a regular beat. Tears escaped her closed lids but she did not cry out, they were silent and she finally looked at Elliot.

"Look at me," Elliot told her with a soft voice, "Forget about out there, think about here," His voice guided her eyes to his and he smiled, "That's it, just listen to my voice." As Olivia studied the contours of Elliot's eyes, she began to hear the small drops of rain that landed on the roof of the car. The watch that Elliot was wearing began to tick clearly in her ears and she became aware of her breathing, her heartbeat and how cold she was. Olivia was hanging onto to every piece of reality there was in that moment, fighting the urge to go back to that place, she grasped Elliot's hand back with her own.

"Everything is magnified," Olivia whispered to him, "It's like my sense are heightened, how on earth do I go from being partially OK to this? To… this?" Olivia kept her eyes locked on Elliot's as she squeezed his hand tighter.

"It's the trauma Liv," Elliot told her what she already know in her logical mind, "Your fighting to stay grounded, that's good… you're safe, alright? You're here with me and you know that I will never let anything hurt you." Slipping her a reassuring smile, Olivia nodded, "I was gone but I am here now and I am not leaving your side unless you tell me to,"

"No, you can't… please," The thought of Elliot being gone again, sent her into a tiny panic and his arms were around her. His seatbelt slid back into its cover abruptly since he unhooked it to be close to her, "Don't leave me… I don't care how small and scared I sound right now… you are not allowed to leave me alone again Elliot Stabler," Olivia listened to his heartbeat as he held her. She felt him kiss the top of her head and before she knew it, she was crying. Olivia wept for herself, for the others, for the pain she felt when Elliot had originally left, for the relief she had of him being with her at that moment. How could she do this without him? Holding onto him tighter, there was no way she even wanted to fathom him not at her side.

"You have my word," Elliot kept it short, "I can't tell you how sorry I am…" His voice broke but Olivia shook her head.

"No, not yet, we can't do this. We can't talk about this, it's too much…"

"Of course," Elliot's heart beat sped down as they both went silent. Olivia was not sure how long she spent holding onto him the car and she really did not care, time stopped and she inhaled deeply, "We don't have to do this tonight," Elliot told her and she shook her head.

"No, we can do this… I can do this," Olivia looked out of the windshield and fought the fear rising up in her, "I won't be afraid of something so simple, just… hold onto me OK?"

"One step at a time," Elliot gently pulled away from her, only to hurry out of his seat, lock the doors and get Olivia out of her side. Letting him keep his hands resting on her waste, Olivia looked up at the tiny super market. It appeared more daunting then usual, such a simple place all of the sudden felt so complicated.

"Ok… I can do this," Olivia nodded but jumped a foot in the air as a car turned in and revved its engine, "SERIOUSLY?!" Olivia glared at the car full of teens and she bit her lip, "Stupid… wow… just an engine… just a stupid…"

"Liv?" Elliot sounded half amused.

"What?" Olivia scowled.

"Breathe…"

"Oh don't tell me to breathe, I hate that." Olivia felt her adrenaline go up; "Breathe… like I am going to forget to breathe?" Slamming her door, she huffed off to the front of the store, with Elliot at her heals, "Now telling me to calm down would be better," The fear was no longer there, it was now replaced with irritation. Opening the swinging glass door, Olivia pushed past two teens that were laughing and talking loudly.

"Liv?" Elliot now sounded worried, "Liv… OK… you wanna calm down?"

"No," Olivia spat at him, "No, I don't want to calm down. I have a right to be upset," Olivia looked around the store, the bright lights stinging her eyes.

"We should get a cart," Elliot told her and she turned around, "Or… not."

"What is wrong with me?" Olivia jumped as a couple with a cart passed her, "Elliot?"

"Nothing," He was at her side, shielding her from everything almost immediately, "You have been traumatized, so you know that it is perfectly expected for these mood swings to happen. They are not your fault and I know that you already know this but that is why I am here. I am here to remind you of who you are and who you are right now is a survivor. You got that?" Elliot's conviction made Olivia buckle.

"Now I understand why the captain told me to take off work," Olivia said to Elliot, her forehead resting against his shoulder, "If a stupid grocery store can upset me this much, I cannot imagine how a perp would make me feel right now,"

"This is a good thing, you're feeling."

"Good or not it still feels like shit," Olivia sighed, taking her head away from his shoulder so she could stand up straight. They were alone in the aisle, Olivia had let them to the frozen section and a chill went through her.

"You want ice cream?" Elliot asked her, shifting the subject.

"No…"

"Are you sure?" Elliot opened up a case and pulled out a thing of chocolate, "Now I know this isn't your favorite but you don't want your favorite right now do you? Nope, I know you well enough to know that the last thing you want is your normal comfort food,"

"Ok… that is just a bit creepy," A smile played on Olivia's lips.

"Or just terribly touching, that I know you that well," A blush came up to touch Olivia's cheeks as her body flooded with warmth. The warm feeling that happened when you got into a hot tub, the warm feeling that happened when you laid down in bed under a bunch of covers while it was cold out, it was the warm feeling that used to rise up in Olivia. It was the warm feeling that only Elliot could cause and she turned around so she was looking at the frozen pizza.

"You ok?"

"Yup, just felt a sneeze coming on," Olivia lied, she avoided Elliot's eyes as she took the ice cream from him, "Chocolate's never sounded better,"

"You like chocolate sprinkles?" Elliot asked, following her. Olivia crinkled up her nose.

"Now, they make the ice cream all… chewy like bubble gum," She paused when she heard Elliot take something off of the shelf, "So… get as many as you can," Olivia finally felt at ease and she and Elliot took their time, shopping for food she didn't enjoy.

MELTING… ICE…..

I would like to add that as I wrote this chapter, it is authentic which some of you probably picked up on. As a victim of Post Traumatic Stress myself, these mood swings are normal. It can be confusing to other's who have no idea what is going on with another person, some times PTSD comes off as traits of mood disorder's such as bipolar or borderline. It is easy to judge someone who might seem "crazy" if they are acting this way. What Olivia experienced in this chapter was adapting to different stimuli. When a trigger button is pushed inside a trauma victim, they respond who they would have if they were back in their fight or flight position. Olivia's mood shifted immediately when she was provoked by just the sound of an engine, instead of being scared and vulnerable, her shield of armor appeared. The type of armor that would sting a person if they messed with her. Once she got away from the trigger zone, it was then that she was able to calm down and focus. I just wanted to make this note for some of you who do struggle with PTSD and for some who are just curious. Thanks for reading and reviews are awesome.

I know it was short but it was all I could write at the moment. New chapter ASAP!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. Sorry that I have not updated in the past few days, I am taking some time an a nice little coffee shop since I cannot get this chapter out of my head lol.

It took Olivia almost an hour to complete her trip to the grocery store; even with Elliot's help she was uneasy. Deciding that going to get some clothes at the moment might possibly result in death, Olivia told Elliot that she would be fine with the clothes that Brian Cassidy had brought her. After a discussion about how Brian, which Olivia knew would come eventually, she was surprised at how short Elliot had kept it.

"He tampered with a crime scene," Was Elliot's reaction when she reminded him of the bag in his backseat.

"He was just being thoughtful," Olivia had rolled her eyes in exasperation but look up so that Elliot would not notice. That did not matter because Elliot Stabler knew all of her facial reactions to everything.

"Uh huh," And that had been that. Olivia pegged the short time on the fact that she was already dealing with enough. She appreciated Elliot holding in whatever breath he had to say about Brian, since he probably had a decades worth of pent up _why you dumped him in the first place_ talk in him. Olivia figured that she would get that talk once Elliot found that she was truly up for it. She did not know what was worse, knowing the talk was coming or the fact that he was coddling her in not talking to her about it yet.

"I hope you don't mind that my place is bit messy," Elliot brought her back to the present when he parallel parked in front of a building that was nicely lit up.

"I would be shocked if it was tidy…" Olivia teased him, "We were partners for how long? I saw the way you never cleaned up your drawers or your locker or-"

"Thanks Liv,' Elliot turned off the ignition and paused before unbuckling his seat belt, "How you doing?" He asked her and Olivia just sighed.

"I've been better," Olivia was beginning to feel slightly better. For some reason being a far distance away from where everything had happened gave her a sense of relief. Olivia looked out of her window and scanned the building with her eyes, making new memories. Memories that she hoped would start a new life for her, a new beginning, a road to healing. If only knowing was the same as feeling, knowing that she was going to be OK did not make her _feel_ any better. Olivia felt like things would eventually get better but she was not sure how to cross that bridge, even with Elliot guiding her along.

"Your ice cream is probably melted by now," Elliot sighed, earning a scowl from Olivia, "I was just… saying,"

"In case you are not on the same page, this is hard for me." Olivia felt herself open up, "I know that you know that but right now I am trying to make the best out of everything. How the hell do you make the best out of shit? There is no way, I know that I am alive and a survivor but the scars that monster put into my head and on my body… none of that matters when I am still feeling it," Olivia did not stop the tears, "I can't… I don't know how to get through an hour without wanting to cry or murder someone," There was no response for a good thirty seconds until Elliot finally spoke carefully.

"You get through it like this , Liv. You have not murdered anyone yet and as for crying? Well… I have a shoulder and extra tissues," Elliot gave her a sincere smile, "Look, what Lewis did to you? It took every bit of effort to not kill him myself." Elliot paused as red flashed over his eyes, "I am staying calm for the sake of you,"

"Well that's sweet and kind of you El… but isn't there a part of you that can be angry with me?" Olivia searched his eyes and she saw him squint before widening his blue eyes.

"If I were to even entertain the anger inside of me, then you and I would be murdering people left and right. Hell, we would be coming up with strategies but I won't do that," Elliot shook his head with conviction, "One of us has to stay grounded and believe it or not, that person is me right now."

"Imagine that," Olivia scoffed, "Wasn't I the one keeping you calm all that time? All of those years?"

"Then I guess I owe you one," Elliot's smile wore off on Olivia and she felt the corners of her mouth being pulled up, "There you go," Elliot reached over to brush a stray piece of hair out of her eyes and they held each other's gaze. It would have been a perfect moment, under any other circumstances, for Elliot to bring her to him, for things to escalate. But the reality was that it was not the right time and Olivia let her eyes drop from his.

"It's a good thing that I don't love chocolate ice cream." Olivia let the conversation go back to a brighter side and she saw Elliot grin, "Alright show me to your place,"

"Let's do this."

MI MI….. MI ….. MI….. MI

"What do you mean she is with Elliot?" Brian Cassidy was having a discussion with Captain Cragen, slamming the office door. Amanda jumped slightly at the noise and Nick sighed, shaking his head.

"Who was the genius to let Elliot take back his rightful place next to Liv?" Jon Munch vocalized, "I mean… I think it's nice that he is back in her life. Liv has never been the same since he left," Everyone turned to look at the man who had worked beside Elliot and Olivia the entire time they have been with SVU, "And if Cassidy gives a crap about Liv's well being, she should be happy that she is in good hands."

'Been drinking too much coffee John?" Fin smiled at the older man, "Cassidy won't ever be happy that Olivia's been taken back by Elliot."

"Isn't that Olivia's say?" Amanda butted in and both men turned their heads to look at her.

"You really should have stayed out of it," Nick muttered to her under his breath and focused on the paperwork his was filling out.

"Nah, explaining the Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson dynamic to you right now would take too long," John sighed and looked at Fin, "What do you think?"

"I'm not touching that shit right now, I just want to see Lewis castrated." Fin shut a file and threw it in his "done" basket.

"I'll just Google it," Amanda shrugged, turning to her computer.

"You're actually going to Google Benson and Stabler?" John snorted, "Are you serious? Is she serious?"

"She's got her serious face on," Nick smirked when Amanda shot him a glare, "OH come on; you really plan on Googling them? Nothing is going to come up there,"

"Wanna bet?" Amanda retorted her answer and the look on her face made the three men put all of their attention on her, "Oh.. now ya'll are interested? Google them yourself,"

"OH come on Rollins, my computer is a dinosaur just like me," John pouted at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Well first of all, there is a blog on here from a victim who was saved by them." Amanda scrolled down, "Oh… my…"

"What?" The question was answered with a laugh from Amanda.

"Apparently this Vic would have asked out Elliot Stabler but he appeared to be enamored already with his beautiful partner Olivia Benson. The two were inseparable and made a great team; they made me feel safe and helped me find justice. Both were professional… and…" Amanda paused to laugh, "…and kept their romantic relationship out of their work," Letting this sit in the air, Nick was gaping at Amanda, while John and Fin smiled knowingly.

"So… wait, did Liv and Elliot…" Nick began but John and Fin shook their heads.

"Elliot had a wife who he had divorced but knocked up, putting whatever damper on what they could have been… well damaged," Fin shrugged.

"So they never dated or anything like that?" Amanda was aghast, "That's not possible, did anyone else see how that man clung to Olivia? It was like someone would have pry him off of her with fire and even then he would have held onto her getting burned with honor," No one said anything and she looked imploringly at John and Fin who were grinning. "What?"

"Just let it go," John advised her, "There is no way of bringing their 'relationship' up without getting loud protests and things thrown at you. El and Liv are just… clueless."

"Clueless," Fin nodded.

"They were the best team at SVU, smart and cunning. They were able to solve any crime, not matter what." John explained.

"Yeah, the only thing they never solved was the shit that went on between them," Fin shook his head in shame, "If they do get together, I think we will all send them congratulations for realizing how you feel about one another, here is a card to commemorate your enlightenment,"

"You guys are horrible," Amanda gasped.

"How are they horrible? I mean they are already picking out curtains for the couple." A paperclip was chucked at Nick's head and he shielded himself with a folder.

"HEY!" The captain raised his voice, surprising the Detectives, "Am I running a kindergarten class or a precinct? Rollins… keep your paperclips to yourself, they don't grow on trees and Nick put that folder down," After being scolded, Brian appeared behind the captain and looked at all of them.

"Does anyone have Stabler's phone number?" This question rose a few eyebrows. No, no one had Elliot's phone number but perhaps the captain. Fin looked at his computer screen, John shrugged and Nick shook his head.

"Not with me, no," Amanda lied, "Liv knows your number right?"

"Yes but if I need to get a hold of her I would like to know how,"

"She will call you if she needs you," The Captain patted Cassidy on the back, "She is in good hands,"

"So I've heard," Cassidy sneered, "This is stupid, I should be the one taking care of her, not _him_."

"Hey!" Fin called out, "If it was not for _him_, your girlfriend might be worse off then she is now." This silenced the room since everyone knew that Fin was right.

"Get back to work, Cassidy," The Captain told him, "I am sure that Liv will get a hold of you if she needs to," Everyone watched Brian as he said nothing, clenching his jaw, he finally stormed out. Leaving an invisible cloud of dust and the Captain turned on the Squad, "I trust that you are all working on the matter at hand?"

"Yes Captain," It was in unison but he shook his head as if he knew what was going on.

"Leave it alone all of you," His door shut and Amanda's cheeks flushed.

"Think we should let Liv know that Cassidy is looking for her?" Nick asked, causing a slight uproar of amused faces, "Oh come on, you don't have a heart?"

"OH please, don't act so in innocent," John opened his drawer and pulled out a clear plastic box and held it out, "If you want to place your bet on the date, we round it up." Nick and Amanda shared a look. After a few beats, both of them pulled out a twenty and handed it to John.

AN: Please review! I think we al needed a chapter with some humor.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Sorry for the delay! I have been dealing with real world crap, Surgical stuff and what not. Here is an update!

Olivia stared at the shower in front of her, it was about to be the first real cleansing she had been able to have since Lewis had taken her. The hospital shower had been so impersonal, so cold and not familiar. Even after the low water pressure shower, with the small towels they had given her with the sterile soap, she had never felt any more clean. It had only been for hygienic purposes. So now, here she was staring at the white bathtub that had a light blue shower curtain with a matching blue mat. The towel she held in her arms was blue as well, Olivia got the feeling that perhaps there had been a sale on blue things so Elliot just bought it all without thinking. Lucky for Elliot Stabler, Olivia Benson was comforted by the blue colors. After what felt like ages, she bent down to turn on the water, ignoring her bruises that were still there and her arm that needed to be a in a sling, it was faint but the pain kept Olivia driven. It was not that she liked that pain or enjoyed it; it was just a reminder to her of what she had been through and what had happened. Whenever she almost convinced herself that it had not been that big of a deal, all she had to do was move and she was reminded that what had been done to her _was_ a big deal. It was not like she had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. A Monster had broken into her apartment, knocked her out and forced vodka down her throat so she was forced to be weak. Being deprived of food and water but fed alcohol had made her vulnerable.

The water burned her back as she stepped in, pulling the blue curtain only partially shut. As the water flowed over her, she imagined that it was washing everything off. The shame, the anger, the pain… the sadness… her tears mixed with the water as it cascaded over her face and hair. After holding her breath, she emerged her head and gasped. Opening her eyes, she focused on the diamond pattern in front of her. The hot shower, was no longer a good idea, feeling exposed and vulnerable, Olivia shut off the water. She wrapped the blue towel around her, her eyes darted around the bathroom, looking for something she could hold onto. A photo, a color, a bar of soap, anything that would ground her. To her frustration there was nothing and impulse took over as she opened the door just ajar.

"You have nothing calming in your bathroom," This was not a common observation, usually someone might say, "You're out of soap," Or, "The toilet paper fairy forgot to refill the cabinet," Never would someone expect another person to let them know that their bathroom was not cozy or calming.

"Liv?" Elliot responded, from the living room, causing Olivia to roll her eyes. Who else did he expect?

"You don't have one thing in your bathroom that is calming," Olivia repeated. She stayed behind the door but peered out of the bathroom, into the tiny beige hallway. Elliot came into her sight and he was gentleman enough to not even point out the fact that she was naked, sure there was a towel around her but that still meant "naked,"

"What's wrong?" Elliot looked past her into the bathroom, as if checking for monsters and Olivia felt surprisingly comforted at his natural reaction to protect her. No, there were not Monster's in the bathroom, no bad guys or ghosts or anything the would be physically threatening to Olivia. Nor would anything be able to get in but Elliot still looked behind her, just in case someone had somehow found a way into the bathroom.

"Forget it," Olivia scrunched up her nose and shut her eyes, all of the sudden feeling dumb for even bringing it up.

"No Liv, you can tell me anything. Do you need something?" Elliot was intent on doing whatever it took to get rid of whatever fears she was having at the moment. The sad truth for Olivia was that no one could fight off the nightmares or the flashbacks, they came no matter what. It was not her fault or anyone else's but the man who had caused her the trauma. It was a lonely process even though she had a bunch of people who loved her and cared about her; they had no idea what it was like to be in her head. The only one closest to that, would be Elliot and even then she felt herself pull away ever so slightly.

"It's just the… post… shit," Was all Olivia could get out and Elliot nodded in understanding, "I'm alright,"

"Well of course you are alright," Elliot agreed with her, "You are strong enough to bench lift a semi but even _you_ need a break and with what you went through, its OK to falter. It's OK to admit that this effected you, ya know?" Elliot's tiny speech caused Olivia to nod slowly in agreement, "And you are not only going to get through this Olivia," The way Elliot said that part made her go alert, she let Elliot lock his eyes on her own, "…But you will conquer this. You will help others from a different perspective." Elliot's words of confidence made her muster up a smile.

"Thanks,"

"So is there something else going on?" Elliot looked behind her again and she had to chuckle softly.

"I was just…" Olivia knew that she was about to risk sounding ridiculous but right now she was not worried how she sounded, "Well, there is nothing in your bathroom that is calming," Olivia watched Elliot's facial feature's soften and he let out an exhale of relief, "Not a painting or… anything that makes it feel like a personal bathroom."

"Well what do you suggest?" Elliot said this in the most understanding and loving voice that Olivia Benson had ever heard. Elliot Stabler was actually standing in front of her, not even acknowledging that she was in only a towel and wanted to know an honest suggestion, "I mean… you know me, I suck at decorating…" Olivia felt whatever bubble of tension inflate in her, pop and she broke into a true smile at his concern.

"Tell you what, I will meet you in the living room in a few," Olivia paused before retreating, "And then I will give you some ideas," The bathroom door was shut and Olivia was alone once again. Conflicting emotions collided in her, being alone was not something she wanted right now but she craved to have some time with herself. The anger flared up when fear slapped her out of her happy moment. Olivia dried her hair before putting on the silk pajamas that she usually wore to bed. After only a split second, she was removing the fabric from her, pulling it off as if it were fire, "EL!" Olivia called out in such a shrill voice that Elliot was at the door in mid cry.

"What?! Liv?" Grabbing the towel and wrapping it around her as fast as she could, she watched as Elliot entered. Hand over his eyes he peaked in, "I have a towel, I'm decent… enough."

"What happened?!" Elliot dropped his hand.

"Do you have any extra shirts or sweat pants that I can wear?" Elliot glanced at the black silk on the bathroom floor for a half second before nodding.

"Of course, I'll be right back," Olivia smiled with appreciation that he was not shoving the envelope on her. Olivia heard a few drawers open and shut, he was back in no time with a white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats, "These OK?"

"Their perfect, thank you,"

"No problem, see you in a minute," Elliot shut the door, leaving Olivia to just gape at the door. Wondering who on earth Elliot Stabler was right now. Either he had gone through daily therapy or he was changed or… Olivia did not let her mind think anymore. After putting on the clothes that Elliot had given her, she sucked in a deep breath of oxygen and exited that door. Elliot was looking through a DVD collection as she appeared in the living room. Olivia's heart hammered so hard that she was sure that it would jump out of her chest if it were even possible.

"I'm ready to talk about it," Olivia declared loudly, her arms crossing her chest. Elliot stopped looking through his DVD's, his back still turned to her, he seemed to gather himself before turning to look at her, When he did not answer, Olivia trembled with adrenaline, "Elliot I am ready to talk about you leaving and all of the sudden returning out of nowhere."

"Liv-"

"Look, before you respond, please remember to not coddle me. Don't go easy on me or whatever you think you need to do right now. I am so grateful for everything but this whole kindness act… well I have to know if it is just because you feel guilty or because you want to be nice. Is this your idea of nice right now because last I remembered there was always an edge to you El,"

"Are you sure that you want to do this right now?" Elliot was now standing in front of her, a type of concern in his ice blue eyes.

"YES!" Olivia responded in exasperation.

"Ok, alright. Let's… do this," Elliot cleared his throat and held his hand out, offering her a seat on his brown suede couch, which she took. Elliot sat across from her in a matching recliner, "What do you want to know?" After he asked Olivia this, she opened her mouth to let him hear everything, but nothing came out. In fact Olivia had to regroup before uttering the only question that popped into her head constantly.

"What the hell happened to you?" It was the only question Olivia had in the back of her mind every single time she had needed him the past few years. When there was a hard case going on, she often wondered where Elliot was and how could he just leave? No call… no email… just a note and his Semper Fi. It had left Olivia on what felt like a tightrope that did not have an ending, "I understand why you left SVU… I get that El. But… leaving me one lousy note and a medal? You changed your number, you never called me back, and you never answered any of my emails. How… what did you expect me to think? Did you expect me to just forget about you? Forget about our partnership? Did you really think that I was like everyone else? Ready to not give a shit if you were there or not?" Olivia was no longer able to stop herself, "My brother came back while you were gone. He is in prison now but I still got to meet my niece and nephew. Did you know that I had to pack up your desk? The captain told me that I needed to let you go, to get over it," The emotion thickened her voice, "You couldn't even stand the idea of coming to get your things?" Olivia's voice cracked and tears were rimming her eyes but none of them fell.

"Liv…" Elliot began to but his head fell, "I... I did not think that I could face you," Elliot admitted, "I shot a victim and all I can remember is how she looked at me, I held her in my arms as the life went out of her." His eyes glazed over, "The next set of eyes I looked at were yours," A flash of that day popped into Olivia's head and she inhaled deeply, "And what I saw in your eyes was… shock… fear… and it was because of me that you looked that way. I made you look that way and the idea of having to face you. Shit, I was a coward alright? I kept track of you… I…" Elliot paused to inhale deeply, "As you can see I left Kathy, she didn't leave me this time, I left her. It wasn't fair to her, to the kids. It just wasn't fair to anyone. She is happy with someone else now and I just decided to live the rest of my life out… well like this." Elliot put his hands out, gesturing to his apartment, "After getting rid of the two things, not including my kids, the two things that were the most vital to me, I felt no need to rest. I lost… well I lost… us.. Our partnership and I couldn't work beside you because of me, I would always wonder if you were judging me-"

"You know me better then that, you know that I would never-"

"It didn't matter to me if you really did or not Liv. It was my fear, my insecurities and I put them on you," Elliot sat back in his chair, looking to the side.

"As partner's I would have understood," Olivia broke the silence that had come in.

"As partner's," Elliot agreed, "But… as… someone else to me, I wasn't so sure,"

"What do you mean someone else?" Olivia felt her head go fuzzy as she watched Elliot squirm, they way he did when he what he wanted to say but did not know how to get it out, "Elliot… what do you mean by-"

"Liv, you know just as well as I do that what we had was beyond partnership and I know that we were never able to put a label on it. Due to the job, due to our history, due to my marriage… there were so many factors," Elliot ran his hand over his eyes, "I know we never went there…" Olivia was not sure what to say. Elliot was right, they had been more then partner's but she had never even began to wonder what. The idea of them being together romantically was out of the question for a few important reasons, so Olivia never even entertained the idea of them ever being together. The moment those feelings showed up when they both picked each other over victims, Olivia hurried to distance herself from the possible outcome. She shut her eyes as she remembered:

FLASHBACK TO EPISODE FAULT S7EP19

_"Did you really expect me to cause your death?" Olivia gaped at Elliot, who was looked straight ahead. He opened his mouth to respond but Olivia kept going, "What about your kids?" Olivia's heart raced as she remembered Gitano's gun held to Elliot's head. The idea of losing Elliot made her shiver, "What about me?" It slipped out and her eyes widened at the realization. Elliot had chose to save her, instead of following Gitano where a little boy ended up getting killed. She would was not deep but Elliot had no idea, so he had run to her, ready to do anything for her. Ready to let her die in his arms if that was what was going to happen. Then when Olivia was faced with letting Gitano get away just so Elliot would not be harmed, she was hit the realization that he was so much more to her then a partner and a friend. Olivia had no idea that Elliot was so crucial to her, that his very presence made her who she was._

_ "Look, we both chose each other over the job," Elliot strained out, "We can't ever let that happen again, other wise… we can't be partner's," Elliot's declaration caused the tears to bubble back up in Olivia eyes._

_ "I can't believe you're saying that," It was true, were they really having this conversation? What did it mean and why was her heart going faster?_

_ "You and this job are the only things I have left anymore," Elliot paused, letting the words sink in, he glanced at Olivia for a second before sucking in a breath, "I can't lose that… I just couldn't take it," And he was up from his seat, heading down the hallway. Olivia watched him go, the shock of his words bringing her to shallow breaths. Had Elliot said what she thought he did? What did it mean and what were all these strange emotions coming up?_

_ "Elliot," Olivia called, her voice echoing through the long corridor. He was about to leave through the EXIT door but turned to look at her. Tears stained his cheeks and he just stood there, looking at her. Waiting for her to speak again, "Wait," Olivia breathed out, pushing herself up. She would not let him have the last word; she would not let him leave her sitting there with question's rolling around in her head and she would not let this be the last and only time they spoke of it. Nothing thinking, only feeling, Olivia hurried to him in a nervous trot, "Don't think," She whispered to herself, "Don't think," And before she knew what she was doing, her arms were around him. Holding him against her, getting the final confirmation that he was alright. Elliot's arms slipped around her torso and held onto her as tightly as she held onto him. Burrowing her head in the crevice of his neck, she thanked God that he was alive. _

_ "I can't lose you Liv," His words made her vision go blurry, her heart reacted by thumping quickly in her chest. Olivia lifted her head slightly off of him so she could look into his eyes, his perfect eyes that were completely open and that were burning into her own, "Olivia…"_

_ "I almost lost you tonight," And that was when it happened, it was a kiss that the sent electricity through Olivia, Elliot's lips caressed hers gently and she pulled back before it went any deeper. His eyes searched hers as she tried to explain, but she couldn't. _

_ "What are we doing?" Elliot whispered to her, setting his forehead against Olivia's._

_ "I don't know," Just as their lips were about to connect again, Elliot's cell phone went off. As if it a call from reality, Olivia broke the embrace, she took a few steps to the wall and turned to look at Elliot._

_ "Yeah Captain… yeah we'll be there," Elliot shut his phone and looked at Olivia in a way she had never seen before. Was this how she looked at him? With a type of wonder? A type of curiosity and the question of what line could be crossed?_

_ "I guess we should go," Olivia broke the gaze as they were met by a few fellow officer's in the hospital hallway. Whatever moment that had happened was forced to be forgotten, it had to be._

_ The next day was when Olivia told the Captain that she needed a new partner._

END FLASHBACK

"What are you saying?" Olivia watched as Elliot leaned forward so he was close to her, "Elliot, we've done this song and dance a million times over,"

"I know," He squinted.

"But… right now… I'm vulnerable and… I…"

"Exactly, you're vulnerable and I don't want you doing or saying anything you will regret later or tell me to forget about."

"How do you know that I will regret it?" Olivia challenged him.

"I just… do," Elliot sighed.

"We're no longer partners." Olivia opened the door, the door that was being kept shut and locked. Now it was open and Elliot just stared at her in response, "Things have changed,"

"We don't need to discuss that right now," Elliot struggled and Olivia had to laugh dryly, "Look, once this is all over… once… we can both think with clear heads…" Elliot looked as terrified as Olivia had felt when he had told her that he could never lose her. Olivia watched as he bit his lip, not looking at her. Sighing, she reached over and took his hand.

"You're right," She let him know and he let out a huge breath he had been holding in, "Wanna pick this up tomorrow?" Olivia paused, "Or in a few years?" She laughed along with Elliot who relaxed.

"Why don't we think about sleep? I was thinking we could watch a movie, something funny or something we both hate."

"A movie sounds good," Olivia shrugged, making room on the couch for Elliot, "What did you pick?"

"What? And ruin the surprise?" Elliot snorted and took a seat next to her, draping a blanket over them both, "Get comfy, you need anything?"

"I'm good for now… thanks," Olivia kept her eyes on Elliot as he started the movie. It did not matter what movie they were watching, all that mattered to Olivia that she was safe and sound with Elliot.

AN: OK… so the FAULT reference, That is ALL true accept for the part I added with the kiss. Everyone who has seen that episode knows what is up. If you have NOT, it is a MUST SEE For any EO shipper. Season seven Episode 19… FAULT. Also, I do want EO in the story and it is coming up, I just want it to be a natural process. Olivia has built an entirely new life, new partner, new friends, new boyfriend and to have Elliot show up all of the sudden, well she is not about to derail everything. Even though it is tempting, she must work on what happened with Lewis. Thanks for reading and the reviews and thanks for the patience! I also have a new youtube chain of EO vids of PROOF of EO… Youtube is JuniperBRZE which some of you already know and for the new readers, please head over and check out my SVU videos. I might as well apply for a job with them, with all of the busy stuff I do with the show lol.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I own nothing… yada yada yada…. Thanks for reviewing! You guys are the best! Oh and I am recovering really well from my surgery. Hopefully I will get some good news and now the bad kind.

SVU PRECINT:

"Oh… is the day really over? I am so ready to go home, collapse into bed and pass out just to do this all over again tomorrow," Amanda stood up from her desk, the squad room had quieted down. After looking over case files of Lewis and how the ADA planned to nail the Rapist into Prison until the end of time, the sky outside was now a black speckled sky. However, no one would see the stars since Manhattan was always lit up, "Nick… you wanna walk me out?" It was Amanda's way of getting him to look up from his computer. Nick Amaro's eyes were rimmed with red, he looked exhausted and Amanda was forced to drop her jaw in concern.

"I think I'm going to work on this more, I just don't feel right… just leaving here with so much to be done ya know?" Nick set a pencil down on his desk and leaned back in his office chair.

"Nick, Lewis is behind bars right now, there is nothing more we can do at this very moment. Not any more then we have done. Besides you look like you have not slept or taken a break in years. Running yourself down is not going to change the situation,"

"Yeah… I guess your right," Nick sighed.

"Guess? You know I'm right… you hungry?"

"I thought you were ready to go home and collapse?" Nick teased her.

"A girl's gotta eat," Amanda shut his monitor off, "Now come on," She flashed him a sweet smile and he slipped his jacket on. Hiding a yawn, he got out his car keys.

"Oh good, you guys are still here," Brian Cassidy was still in his uniform as he strutted into the squad room. Too tired to make a comment, Nick grumbled something under his breath.

"Uh, just leaving actually," Amanda was too tired to make any type of banter with Brian at the moment so she kept it short.

"Then I won't hold you up," Brian paused, "Look, I need to see Liv. She has not called and I am worried sick about her,"

"Can't help you out there, sorry," Amanda shrugged, watching Nick to make sure he stayed on the same line as her.

"Amaro," Brian turned to Nick, who looked ready to fall asleep but he nodded his head up, "Please man… I know that Liv is safe with… _him_ but not hearing from her is killing me," Amanda wanted to tell him that _this was not about him_ but it seemed like he was never going to stop bothering them.

"If I give you Stabler's number… do you promise to not harass them? Because Elliot will just change the number and then you will be screwed," Nick's eyes fluttered shut and Amanda's stomach turned. Were they really that ready to leave? Checking the time, Amanda saw that it was already 10 PM at night. Taking out a pen and scrap paper, she wrote down Elliot's phone number.

"Here," She shoved it in his hands, "Nick?" She turned to him as he was standing up, setting his hand on her shoulder as if maybe if they were closer their exhaustion would go away. Nope, it just made Amanda more in the mood to curl up and pass out. Leaving Brian in the squad room, they headed for the elevator.

"Did you really just give him Elliot's number?" Nick mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"Yes…" Amanda sighed as she mashed the down button.

"Don't you think if Liv wanted to talk to him, she would have called?"

"As much as we care about her… and dislike Cassidy, we just need to let that one take its course," Amanda said to Nick as the elevator doors opened. They both skulked in, hitting the button labeled 1, Amanda leaned back against the wall. Nick did the same and if they had been allowed to, they would have catnapped right then and there.

"Damn you for making me realize how fucking tired I am," Nick yawned and they headed out of the building, "Wanna share a cab?"

"A cab sounds great… maybe we can go to a place to eat that is far away… so we can… nap on the way," Amanda covered her mouth as her own yawn took her over.

"Sounds perfect," And the two officers haled down a cab, got in, told the cabbie to take them across the city. Amanda's head fell against Nick's shoulder, he rest his head against hers and they were instantly asleep, unaware of the fact that they in the backseat of a cab.

ELLIOT STABLER'S APARMENT

The phone number on Elliot's phone was unknown, frowning for a moment, he decided to answer.

"Hello,"

"Stabler," Brian Cassidy's voice came through the line and Elliot held in a nasty greeting. He should have been prepared for this, it wasn't like Olivia's boyfriend… Elliot shuttered at the label… would stop trying to get in touch with her.

"Cassidy," Elliot addressed Brian with the same tone, "Can I help you?" The question was not meant to come out as sarcastic as it had, in fact, Elliot had taken it down a notch.

"Very funny… is Liv there?" Elliot chewed on his lower lip, what if he told Brian no? What if he lied and told Brian that Olivia was not there, that she was out at 10:04 PM getting some fresh air? Even Elliot could stop stoop that low, "Is my girlfriend there?"

"Liv, it's your boyfriend," The moment Elliot heard her being addressed as someone's girlfriend he had no choice but to treat the phone as if it was poisonous. Setting his phone down on the counter, making sure it made an impact for Brian's ear, he waited for Olivia to show up. Coming from the guest room, Olivia poked her head into the kitchen, she was the most amazingly beautiful creature that Elliot had ever laid his eyes on. Elliot had never gotten sick of spending so much time with her all those nights, all of those days. He would have spent eternity working with Olivia, if it had meant that every day he could see those big brown eyes looking back into his.

"Brian's on the phone?" She looked half nervous, half relieved. All Elliot could do was nod, not trusting himself enough to say anything. Olivia came into the kitchen completely, Elliot watched her every move since he had no way of tearing his eyes away. How dare Brian Cassidy get the label, how dare he have the right to kiss her and hold her every time he wanted to? Elliot felt his stomach flip and he refused to listen to their conversation. Just as he was about to leave the kitchen, he felt Olivia grab his sleeve, "Don't leave me alone," She whispered to him, the look of anxiety on her face caused Elliot to change his mind in less then a second.

"I'm right here," He reassured her, clenching his jaw, he watched as she put the phone to her ear. Elliot braced himself as he was about to listen to possibly the worst one sided conversation of his life.

"Hey there," Olivia's voice turned to a type of satin, there was something soft in her tone, something warm and welcoming. How dare Brian Cassidy get that reaction from Olivia, "Yes, I'm OK…. No…" Olivia sighed, "Brian I promise that I am doing alright… Oh…" Olivia all of the sudden slightly pulled away from Elliot and he felt rejected, "Oh… well… I don't know…" Elliot watched as she reached up to twirl a piece of her hair. It was something he had not seen her do in ages and he could feel his heart swell, "Of course I do…" Olivia's voice was now dripping with emotion, "I know you are and I do too…" There was a long pause before Olivia's eyes watered, "I can't do that… I… I feel safe where I am…"

"Liv," Elliot whispered to her and she looked at him, her facial expression told him that Brian was causing her stress. _Damn you Cassidy_, Elliot wanted to take the phone and smash it.

"I can't. Why? Because I can't… I'm sorry,"

"Liv," Elliot's heart sped up as a tear escaped her eye, "Let me talk to him," Elliot refrained from calling her a pet name, it would have been so easy to call her something like sweetheart right then. She deserved that. She did not deserve tears of stress.

"Fine, yes. Fine…" Olivia shook her head at Elliot and he sighed in frustration, "Yes… fine. Great," Olivia slapped the phone in Elliot's hand and stormed away. Elliot set the phone to his ear.

"What the hell was that about?" Elliot demanded, anticipating Brian's response.

"She's agreed to talk to me but she doesn't want to leave your place," The defeat in Brian's voice satisfied Elliot to a point where he almost felt guilty. Almost.

"So… what are you coming over here then?" The skepticism in Elliot's face went away when he saw Olivia return, she nodded her head at him and he was forced to turn his reaction over, "Alrighty then," Elliot gave Brian his address and hung up. Was this the part where Brian came and took Olivia away? He was her boyfriend after all, he had more pull with Olivia then Elliot did when it came to the romance department. Pictures flashed through his mind when he thought of how Brian got to hold onto her at night, got to see her beauty before he shut his eyes and when he opened them. Brian had pined for Olivia in the beginning, Elliot had been the one she came to after she had a one night stand with him way back in the day. She came to Elliot for advice on _how_ to turn Brian down. Now here he was, swooping in and marking his territory. Elliot wanted to punch the wall… punch something.

"He wants to talk," Olivia told Elliot, putting her hair up in a ponytail, "I hope this isn't weird for you,"

"What? Why would it be weird? He's your… boyfriend," Elliot couldn't help but make a sour face as he said the last word and Olivia actually laughed.

"You've never, ever been alright with me having a boyfriend… you practically sabotaged any time I almost had a future with a man," Olivia spoke true and her eyes sparkled as she pointed this out, "I can see it in your face right now, you want to punch something don't you?"

"No one was ever good enough for you," Elliot told her and she just rolled her eyes, "and besides, you know that you could never have me and a boyfriend at the same time,"

"Blunt much?"

"Come on, handling me and handling a boyfriend at the same time?" Elliot forced a smirk, "I know your amazing Liv but that's just a bit much." A blush came over her cheeks and Elliot was proud for being the reason. As she was about to say something, the doorbell rang and Elliot's heart dropped. Olivia turned to go to the front door, Elliot stayed where he was. He could not watch this, he could not and would not. The idea made him nauseated.

"Hey," Olivia greeted Brian, he voice sounding sweet. Elliot swallowed hard as he heard what was probably a welcome kiss. Torture… pure Hell… was this what Olivia went through when he was with Kathy? Karma was a bitch and it came in the form of Brian fucking Cassidy.

"So… are you ready?"

"Brian, I told you that I want to stay here. I really wish you would respect that," The door shut and Elliot decided to organize his counter, while he listened in on what was about to take place in the other room.

"But babe, I should be the one taking care of you. You know I can, you know how much I…" Brian stopped to clear his throat, "Olivia, I love you," Elliot focused on not heaving; instead he imagined strangling Brian Cassidy and throwing him out the door. Elliot braced himself for Olivia to say it back to him, for her to proclaim her love to a man that was not him. The pain was excruciating and Elliot felt his heart literally begin to break.

"Ya know… this whole situation really put things in perspective for me," Olivia's voice was thick with emotion, "Bri, I am so sorry but…"

"No… don't," Brian cut her off. Elliot's heart lifted and he was now unsure of what to do or what to feel.

"I don't want to hurt you,"

"You're not thinking clearly Liv, you went through something horrible. So you're pushing me away, it's ok, I'm here for you and you can tell me everything. Please…. Let me be here for you. Babe…" Elliot rolled his eyes at Cassidy calling her 'Babe'. Like Olivia would even care for the nickname, "Elliot has done a great job helping you but… it's not his place," Elliot cringed as he knew what was coming next. If he knew Olivia well enough, which he did, he knew that she never took anyone talking down to Elliot. Ever.

"Alright, that's it," Olivia became firm, "I can't lie to you," She inhaled deeply, "There is Elliot and then there is everyone else," Her voice broke, "I'm so sorry but when I was being hurt, held down and tortured… the only person I could think of was…"

"Oh Liv… please don't… please," Brian was now pleading and Elliot actually felt sorry for him all of the sudden, "What are you saying? Are you saying that… you want to be with-"

"It's not the cut and dry," Olivia interrupted Brian, "All I could think about was the man I spend every possible waking moment with for 12 years, how I wanted him there and… it just made me realize that I _need_ him. If I had to choose him over anyone else in the entire world… it would be him," Olivia sounded like she crying, "I am so sorry Brian."

"But he left you; he left you Liv, what makes you think he won't do it again?"

"It's different now, he showed up… he…" Olivia was now weeping, "I can't do this to you, I won't be one of those people who lie to themselves and to the person they are with, if I feel like I have to fight to work on something then it's not natural." There was silence; Elliot was holding his breath as he listened to what was unfolding.

"Fine. But don't come back to me when you're left again," Brian sounded heartbroken before leaving and slamming the door. Olivia let out a tiny cry and he heard her fall to the ground. Leaving the kitchen, Elliot went to her, his heart pounding in his chest as he knelt down in front of her, setting his hands on her shoulders that were slumped down.

"Liv…" Elliot took his left hand and caressed the side of her neck, "Olivia?" And then she was instantly in his arms, her head buried into his chest and he held her close to him. Olivia was now kneeling so that that they were on the same level. Elliot said nothing as he caressed her back, her hair that smelled of Apple… feeling his chest expand, his breath caught when Olivia pulled her head away from his chest to look at him. Her eyes were filled with innocent fear, as if she was about to venture into the unknown. Elliot's eyes darted to her lips and did not deny his desire as he captured her lips with his. He half expected her to pull away but her reaction was the opposite. Olivia had done her part when she let Brian know that it would not be fair to him if she tried to fool herself. The least Elliot could do was show her how much her feelings were requited, that he could not live without her either. Elliot gently pulled her up, so they were both in more control of how their bodies were moving.

"I might just be vulnerable," Olivia breathed out when their lips parted. Elliot kissed her again, craving the closeness; he deepened the connection before pulling away slightly, "Elliot…"

"Something tells me that this is not vulnerability Liv," Elliot kissed her neck tenderly; he did not want to hurt her. She was still recovering and he wanted to take his time, making sure to help her heal, "Then what would that make me?" His question was answered with an attack of her lips and he had to try to stay gentle but it was so difficult.

"All I wanted was you when I thought that my life was going to end, all I could think about was how I never got to tell you everything. How if my life ended right then and there, you would never know." Olivia touched his heart, "You would never know my true feelings," Taking a moment, Elliot brushed her hair over her shoulder and smiled at her.

"I always knew..." He whispered to her, "And here was I was afraid of the same thing because… there is no promise of tomorrow… I need to tell you," Elliot swallowed hard, "I love you, truly and deeply love you," Keeping his eyes completely on hers, he watched as she softened, "And I'm so sorry that it took so long and I swear to you that I will never leave you again, ever." Elliot hoped that he did not get the same response as Brian had, that he would not be left hanging with nothing but cold and hard rejection.

"… I love you too," Elliot had no idea that hearing Olivia Benson say those words to him would make his entire being light up. As their eyes touched one more time, Elliot pulled Olivia back into a loving kiss and he relished in being the one she kissed, the one that got to hold her, the one that got to feel her next to him.

The End

OOOOH FLUFF… FLUFF FLUFF AND MORE FLUFF!

Yes this story is complete but of course there is an Epilogue.

REVIEWWWWWWWW. How do you think it should truly end oooor start? ;)


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews. I am literally in the middle of moving (boxes all around) and wanted to let everyone know that I am finally going to have time to update all of my stories! The Holiday's are around the corner so that means, baking… knitting…making videos on youtube and updating FF and making more. Once I am in my very own study, I will be able to focus solely on my creativity. SO EXCITED! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

One Year Later…

Olivia pulled her coat on, her therapy session was about to be over and she was ready for her lunch date with Elliot. Since Olivia spent an hour talking to someone about things that were all together difficult, about Lewis and how she was dealing with the trauma, the flashbacks. That even though the incident had happened one year ago, it was still fresh when she talked about it. It always was, when she entered the room that was filled with colors and picture's to create a calming and relaxing environment, Olivia could not help but know what world she was about to enter. The part of her life that she kept in the Therapy room, that she never let come out when she was on the job or with Elliot, it was in this room that she could go back to what happened and then safely return to her peace of mind.

"Olivia, I know that you are eager to go and we have made such tremendous progress but I wanted to run something across you," Her name was Claire, she had been assigned to Olivia when it had been too hard, having a man as Olivia's therapist. Olivia had been able to resolve her issues with women, the damage in her relationship with her mother had scarred her. While speaking with Claire, Olivia had run into other issues that did not have to with Lewis.

"Shoot," Olivia sat up straight, looking at Claire.

"How would you like it if we started seeing each other every two weeks, instead of every week. Do you feel that you may be ready for that?" Claire's question caught Olivia off guard but she answered almost immediately.

"Yes actually," Olivia replied, "I mean, with how great my life is going and… with the support system I have, I feel confident enough to start seeing you just every other week," Olivia shrugged.

"Wonderful," Claire smiled, "That is of course you have any hesitancy, no reason to shove the baby bird out of the nest until it can fly hmm?"

"I definitely agree Claire, but I also do think that it is time for me to reach out more and deal with every day life."

"Glad to hear it Olivia, so glad to hear it. Now, we are about to run out of time but there is something I would like to put in your head, to think about."

"OK,"

"Your relationship with Elliot, he has come up quite a lot. In fact, we've covered much ground when it comes to him haven't we?" Claire and Olivia shared a knowing smile, "It is very, very clear on how much he loves you. Granted the history of your relationship, I believe that it has come to a very stable point. You two are talking about moving in together and-"

"Elliot still wants to know why I don't want to move in with him yet," Olivia looked at her fingernails, "It's just… that every time I think about always being with him and never having a place to go… to just… cry if I need to or lose it even,"

"So you're afraid of losing your independence, your freedom… is that it?"

"Well I've always been alone so-"

"Exactly, you have always been alone," Claire pointed out, "And you don't have to be anymore. It's a big step I know but you owe it to yourself, you deserve love and you have it. It's time to leave that idea of "always alone" in the mindset of the garbage shoot," The garbage shoot was a concept state of mind, where things that needed to be let go of or that were ready to get rid of, were sent to the Garbage Shoot of thinking.

"Is it stupid to think that he is going to get sick of me?" As Olivia asked this, there was a knock on the door.

"In session!" Claire called out, looking at her watch, "Oh… we've run over."

"Sorry Claire," The Secretary called through the door, "Olivia's husband is outside, just wanted to let her know," Olivia flushed as she caught Claire giving her a knowing smile and seemed to wait for something.

"Good job, you didn't correct her. That is a first,"

"Well, after telling her the tenth time that Elliot is not my husband did not work, I just let her live in that world where I am married,"

"He's here Olivia, he's devoted. I suggest that you do anything he suggests today, smile, nod… accept that love," Claire then pushed her timer, "And that's that. See you in two weeks at 11 AM? Does that time still work for you?"

"Sure does, thanks Claire," Olivia got up and left the office. Elliot was taking advantage of the free coffee; he made a face and then dumped it, "Not good enough?" Olivia walked over to him.

"Hey," Elliot lit up as he pulled her into his arms, "So how was it?"

"You know… it was therapy," Olivia shrugged.

"Have a good week-end Mr. and Mrs. Benson," The Secretary waved as Elliot gave Olivia a "WTF" look as she led him away.

"So when did I take _your_ name?" Elliot was amused and intrigued, "Does that poor girl still think that I am your husband?"

"Well after telling her so many times that you aren't and after her not listening said times, I kinda gave up. So congratulations, we are married in the eyes of Claire's secretary." Leaning in to give him a kiss, Elliot's hand touched her wrist and she stopped, "What's the matter?"

"Well uh what if we stopped making the girl a liar?" Elliot had a smirk on his face, he was practically glowing with excitement and Olivia felt a type of warmth excitement rush over her, "I was going to wait… but this is just…" Elliot reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box, "The timing…is perfect."

"What… is that?" Olivia did not know if she should cry or laugh or do both, so she just stared down at the box that was opened up by Elliot. It was diamond, it was the most beautiful object Olivia had ever laid eyes on. Her eyes watered and she looked up at Elliot.

"I won't get down on one knee because I know how you feel about that," Elliot took the ring out of its pocket, "But I will ask you… to let me love you for every second of every day. To allow me to always take your hand into mine, to always be there when you need me and when you need quiet, just for me to sit in silence with you. Olivia, I have never believed in the whole soul mate deal but I cannot imagine myself spending the rest of my life without you because being away from you is like being away from a part of me. I love you Olivia and… I just hope-"

"Oh My!" The Secretary gasped in excitement when she took notice of what was going on. Elliot and Olivia looked at her and she cleared her throat to gather herself, "Sorry… just…I didn't mean to interrupt, it's just the most beautiful proposal to renew the vows," The statement caused Olivia to laugh, tears coursing out of her eyes when she realized how happy she was at that very moment.

"El, I want to thank you for not getting down on one knee," Olivia stared into his eyes. "I cannot believe you remembered my comment from so long ago about how the man and woman are always equal, so why should anyone get on their knees?" Olivia felt herself start to shake, "And if you were about to ask me to marry you?" She grinned, "That answer is yes."

"Yes?!" Elliot sounded shocked but in a good way.

"Yes," Olivia repeated and she threw her arms around him, "I am so sorry I have pushed you away, I won't anymore, I want you by my side always…"

"Oh My God I love you,"

"I love you too,"

"So does this mean we can move into together finally?" Elliot's question made Olivia laugh in between the happy tears and kisses.

"Yes, yes we can," Olivia kissed him, pulling him as close to her as possible.

"So you took my advice," Claire said from behind Olivia, she must have been off to refill her coffee when she saw the two, "Congratulations," And then Claire was gone, her smile still as big as ever.

"What was her advice?" Elliot asked Olivia.

"That sir, is confidential," Olivia stuck her tongue out at him.

"Here," Elliot took her trembling hand, as the gold slipped over her finger the shaking stopped and Olivia all of the sudden felt entirely complete, "Now it is truly official,"

"Thank you for being here for me, even when I tried to push you away. You always fought so hard and stood your ground… thank you."

"Liv…"

"Yeah.?"

"Just let me kiss you,"

THE END… or The Beginning but my GOD could they please just get together and live happily ever after?

And my goodness… coming up with different ways for Elliot to propose is getting ridiculous. I wonder how he will do it my next story or the show? As Chris Meloni said, if he was to write how Elliot and Olivia would have their last seen together… well I think the writers should listen to Chris. Consumate was the word her used and if you have not seen it, head over to my youtube channel under JuniperBRZE.

Love you guys!


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